Santa Monica Counseling, Therapist in Santa Monica, Los Angeles, and Culver City, CA, California - Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT


For 30 years I’ve helped individuals and couples overcome problems and enhance their self-esteem, marriage and relationships. They quickly see changes and acquire skills for solving problems, improved communication and intimacy, and the capability to manage emotions and boundaries.

Whatever your challenge – a relationship, anxiety, depression, addictioncodependency, or divorce – talking to a therapist is the first step towards healing.

I adapt each session to your unique needs as an individual or couple, and I’m committed to helping you find your own solution. I draw on extensive personal and professional experience, as well as my ability as an emotional intuitive.

I’m the author of Codependency for Dummies and Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You. I’ve worked extensively helping those affected by abuse, codependency, trauma, and addiction find recovery. I use powerful, client-centered, evidenced-based techniques, such as cognitive-behavioral (CBT), psychodynamic psychotherapy, EFT, hypnosis, and others. For more information about codependency and my webinars, books, and ebooks, including 10 Steps to Self-Esteem, Dealing with a Narcissist: How to Raise Self-Esteem and Set Boundaries with Difficult People, “I’m Not Perfect – I’m Only Human” – How to Beat Perfectionism, How To Speak Your Mind – Become Assertive and Set Limits, see

You’ll gain a new perspective, new skills, and greater understanding – catalysts for change that will empower you to achieve your goals and express your fullest potential. Email or call me for an appointment. See the below links for different services. Use the coaching link for phone appointments if you’re outside the greater Los Angeles area.

Individual Therapy     Couples and Marriage Counseling     E-Therapy     Dream Analysis     Coaching

Pre-Marital & Marriage Counseling

Child, Parent, Partner,
Gay & Lesbian, Dating

Emotional Issues:
Depression, Anxiety
Anger, Trauma, PTSD

Stress Management
Divorce & Life Transitions
Low Self-Esteem
Abuse: Physical, Sexual, Emotional
Loss & Grief
Sexual Issues
Illness & Chronic Pain
Career Challenges
Spiritual Issues

“Darlene is a pro at bringing the truth out of a patient. She helps you peel back the many layers of your troubles. She’s calm and serene and that feeling supplies a comfortable atmosphere to be honest without judgment.”
D.G., Los Angeles

“Darlene has an innate ability to sense what is at the root of an issue and to express those underlying factors in an approachable and hopeful way. She is an excellent listener and a gentle motivator. Each of her reading recommendations turned out to be books that changed my life. My relationship with my wife and my understanding of myself is forever changed as a result of our sessions.”
J.N., Santa Monica

“Marriage counseling with Darlene was life-changing. She gave us the tools to resolve conflict in a positive way. After 31 years of hating my husband and staying in the marriage due to convenience, I can gratefully say that I like my ‘new and improved’ husband now, respect him, admire him, and truly adore him.”

“To learn how to listen, not only to others, but to the true self I had buried deep within, was an extremely beautiful gift to receive from my time with Darlene. Forgiving myself for who I am and allowing myself to be me without judgment has allowed me to be patient and respectful of other people and the paths they are on. While learning how to communicate my own needs, I have also learned how to communicate with my wife without judgments or passive aggressive responses, but rather to listen wholeheartedly and respond in a productive way.”

“Thank you Darlene. I prayed for someone to give me advice, and it was you. You don’t realize the help and impact you give. I feel like I’m drowning and you threw me a life raft. God bless you.”
Aida. Brownsville, Texas



Are you in a rut? Are you unhappy or anxious about a relationship or work, or haven’t been able to accomplish a goal? Perhaps you’ve been thinking about a problem for a while and haven’t been able to resolve it on your own.

1. How can someone I don’t know help me?

It takes courage to ask for help. Talking to a trained Marriage and Family Therapist who won’t take sides or judge you is a key benefit that friends and family can’t provide.

2. How can therapy help?

Psychotherapy can help you sort out the causes and find solutions. Counseling expands your awareness, self-esteem, and options. You will gain acceptance of situations you cannot change, and the ability to change what you can.

3. How do I know which therapist is right for me?

Therapy is a collaborative process, and the therapy relationship is an important part of healing. So it’s important to choose an experienced therapist with whom you feel comfortable, heard, and not judged.