Popular culture is focused on attracting love, yet you’ll only be able to receive as much love as you give to yourself. You’ll deflect or guard love that doesn’t resonate with you – like a compliment you don’t believe. The opposite is also true. You’ll allow others to abuse you a bit less than you abuse yourself. So if you desire lasting love, learn to love yourself, because your relationships will parallel your relationship with yourself.

The subject of love interested me from an early age after reading Erich Fromm’s The Art of Loving. I was still young and unconscious of my feelings about myself. For years, the concept of loving myself eluded me. Like many on a spiritual path, I became very good at compassion for others, but had no idea what self-love meant. Little by little, I’ve learned that it starts with self-esteem, self-acceptance, and finally compassion and love – all progressive stages. Readmore…

Dreams are the “Royal Road to the Unconscious,” said Freud. What you don’t know controls you. Your unconscious beliefs, fears, motives, and desires can thwart your goals, your health, and relationships.

By understanding and learning to trust the messages in your dreams, you are communicating with your true self, your soul, and God. Carl Jung wrote that he who looks inside awakens. “The dream is a little hidden door in the innermost and most secret recesses of the soul.” Deciphering your dreams’ hidden symbols, guidance, and messages unlocks that doorway. Readmore…

Probably, and you’re in the majority. The term “dysfunctional family,” once used only by professionals, has become popular jargon in America where dysfunctional families are the norm due to cultural values, a high divorce rate, and widespread addictions – from prescription drugs to exercising, working, and shopping.

A healthy family is a safe haven – a place of sustenance and nurturing – that has an air of openness, spontaneity, and playfulness, and allows for freedom of expression.  There may be occasional arguments and expressions of anger, but peace returns and individuals feel loved and respected. It functions smoothly like a well-run company. The executives – the parents – make and agree upon rules, which are consistent and reasonable. Readmore…

Divorce it entails loss, even if you wanted it. Aside from the ending of the relationship with your spouse, you may be losing your home, time with your children, in-laws, extended family, and even friends.  There are inevitable financial losses, loneliness, a change of lifestyle, imagined losses of what might have been, and of memories of what once was.  It may involve a move to a different city, a change of jobs or schools, or a homemaker entering the work force for the first time.

Divorce is harder one the spouse who is less prepared or feels “left.”  It can shatter one’s self-esteem, particularly if it was unexpected, or if a spouse leaves because he or she loves someone else. Not usually talked about is the loss of identity that occurs – as a wife, a husband, and possibly as a father or mother.  Readmore…

There are three million cases of domestic violence reported each year. Many more go unreported.  Emotional abuse precedes violence, but is rarely discussed. Although both men and women may abuse others, an enormous number of women are subjected to emotional abuse. Unfortunately, many don’t even know it.

Why is Emotional Abuse Hard to Recognize?

Emotional abuse may be hard to recognize, because it can be subtle, and abusers will often blame you for their behavior or act like they have no idea why you are upset. Readmore…

Is your relationship or marriage just, well, so-so? Maybe you’re not sure if you still love or ever loved your partner? Maybe he or she has many good traits – is kind, or generous, funny, or the sex is great. She’s gorgeous, or he showers you with kindness – but something is missing. Maybe your parents or friends think that he or she is great – that they would give their eyeteeth for such a relationship. How do you decide what’s the right thing to do? Readmore…

Why bother to make resolutions and then feel disappointed or guilty for breaking them? Do you get excited and resolve to change, but within days or weeks lose interest and can’t motivate yourself? Wonder why you get sidetracked by distractions or become easily discouraged when quick results aren’t forthcoming? The problem is threefold: Readmore…

Is it possible to truly change? Does therapy help? Many people have turned their lives and fortunes around, while others spend years trying to change with or without therapy, but never seem to progress. What makes the difference? Certainly, there are skilled and unskilled psychotherapists. Therapy can make a huge difference and help you traverse the obstacles to change, but success lies in the individual. Readmore…

Women, in particular, are looking for commitment. Hollywood, the media, and dating websites all focus on getting a marriage proposal. The art of seduction predates expert Cleopatra. Dozens of books have been written about getting an unavailable man to say, “I do.” For six years, Carrie Bradshaw of “Sex in the City” tried to get Mr. Big to commit.  It’s one thing to get married, it’s another to have a deep emotional connection and commitment of the heart. Readmore…

Women assume many roles throughout their lives – as daughters, sisters, wives, mothers, and grandmothers. Women’s roles have been largely determined by the rules and expectations of culture, religion, and the patriarchy, as well as biology. There should be no judgment associated with being a full-time mom, a single career woman, or even a “beach bum,” for that matter. Both men and women can become identified with their roles. Ask yourself these questions: 1) Are your roles your choice vs. others’ expectations? 2) Are other parts of you being denied? and 3) Have your roles (be they at home and/or work) come to define your personality and thinking, rather than the other way around? Readmore…